This Hurts...

Readers, I'm going to warn you that I'm not going to be myself for awhile, as I know that a choice I have to make is causing me to break down.

Its down to the nitty gritty for me to find a job that I think I can keep. People I know think that I haven't been looking, but the truth of the matter is that I've tried for over a year to find one that can work around the band schedule that I know I can handle. I've had absolutely no success whatsoever. People won't hire me on account of how often our band plays and my lack of job experience on top of it. The last job I had was so fast paced, that no one took time to train me even after knowing that I'd never worked like that before... I couldn't keep up with it. It seems that I'll have to give up playing music for awhile, and it breaks my heart to think that because that means giving up a huge part (if not the biggest part) of who I am... and who I've been for the past five years.

Now that I've accepted this, I guess the next step is to notify both groups that I am still looking for work and that they need to find someone to replace me when I finally find something because I won't be able to play anymore.

Hopefully after a couple years I'll be able to go back to it. I'm going to miss it like you wouldn't believe. Leaving the band is going to be like leaving family behind, I love the people in the band as well as their families. I love the music we play, and I love the audience I play for. I can't thank God enough for the opportunity to know these people and to learn from them.


... I'm sorry I have to let them down...


... but like they say, all good things must come to an end, and its time for this girl to pack up and leave home.